My job is an interesting one. I am basically paid to be me. An actor is paid to be someone else. I am paid to be me. “What do you do?” “I am a lesbian Christian”. “Yes, but what do you do for a living?” “Oh I see what you mean. I am out lesbian Christian.” It has been interesting for me to hear the stories of other people at work recently. I spent some time with someone who is very tentatively starting to come out at work, after many months of praying about this. So far, it has gone well, but there is a risk that some colleagues may not react so positively. We have talked a lot about what we tell folk at work – colleagues, customers, the management. With each of these groups of people, we might share different aspects of their lives. I don’t expect to hear details of their personal lives from my dentist, doctor or solicitor, unless they want to share them. I would expect to know a bit more about the personal life of a colleague, but only what they wanted to share. Some people are just more private than others. When I was at university, I had a friend who was so private about her life, I didn’t know she was going out with this guy, until she announced their engagement.

This week, I was invited to the Land Registry offices in Durham to give a talk about LGBT issues and faith. The LGBT and Allies Network gather colleagues together in their particular branch of the Civil Service to support one another and discuss relevant issues. One of the other presenters, Emma, started her presentation with some words based on article by David Wong. “A thousand years ago, if you were a genius born on a farm, it didn't matter that you were a genius - it just meant you were going to be a genius who shovelled muck. Two hundred years ago in some places, if you were a genius who was born black, it didn't matter - you were going to live your life as a genius slave. A hundred years ago, if you were a genius who was born a female, it didn't matter - you were going to be a genius who stayed home and changed nappies. Sixty years ago if you were a genius who was born lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender, it didn’t matter - you were going to be a genius who got arrested, prosecuted and put in jail.” (Thanks Emma)

LGBT and straight people are working together in Land Registry to make the workplace a safe space to come out in. When people are comfortable and can be fully themselves at work, they work better and are less stressed about people finding out about their ‘secret’. Jesus offered life in all its fullness. That includes the many hours of our life that we spend at work. Homophobia, transphobia, racism, sexism, disablism are everyone’s issues, not just for the person that they are aimed at. When we are in an environment where we can all thrive, we can each be the genius that God created us to be.

God bless,

Cecilia

Well, it’s official. I am the world’s worst evangelist. At one point on the Pride stall on Saturday, I said to one of our volunteers “Don’t mention God.” It is an interesting dilemma ministering in the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered communities. On the one hand, there is profound hurt and pain which has been inflicted on our people by the institution and some of the individuals that make up the Church. On the other hand, there is an equally profound yearning to belong and to explore what it means to be a spiritual person. I take the view that is not my job to make people believe in God. It is God’s job to make people believe in God. It is my job, my vocation and my joy to create spaces where people can become open enough for them to feel God’s presence, or at least go to a deeper place. Sometimes, this is just a moment in a conversation where the tone of an ordinary chat shifts and we start to talk about the things that are really on that person’s heart. I think of these moments as ‘holy listening.’ There is almost a change in the atmosphere, as the Holy Spirit starts to weave and dance in and out of the conversation. In these moments of revelation, the individual may have tears in their eyes or may go quiet, becoming deep in thought. My role is to keep that silence, that space, just letting God do God’s work. These are blessed moments indeed. Sometimes we are able to create the space for a whole group of people at one time. This is why we worship together on a Sunday. It might not happen for us every week, but we know from experience that worshipping together opens up a space where God can get in and touch us, in midst of our everyday lives.

Once again this year, Northern Lights MCC organised and led the Pride Candle Lit Vigil. This really captures the dilemma I mentioned at the beginning. We are asked to do a ‘religious thing’, perform a ritual, bring people together, create a ‘sacred space’ and yet we also have to manage the pain that people feel when anything to do with God or church is mentioned. Before the vigil, a young man spoke to me about how he lost his job in a church organisation, once he came out as gay. His eyes filled up as he revisited that painful time. It must have taken courage and trust to tell me his story. Despite that pain, injustice and rejection, he was at the vigil, his longing overcoming his pain. I can’t heal that young man’s heart. I can’t bring him to a place of peace. I can’t make him believe in God again. Those are all God sized jobs. What I do know, is that our ministry as Northern Lights MCC really does make a difference and really does offer a place and a space for people to experience God’s amazing grace and love. It is a shared ministry, with each of us able to play our part. Each of us helps to hold the space, so that God can touch and change lives – one person at a time. Happy Pride!

God bless,

Cecilia

Have you ever seen a look of pure love on someone’s face? There is just something wonderful, something captivating about it. I remember the look on my wife’s face the first time she held our first grandchild. She was radiant with love. I see it when I meet couples to discuss their wedding plans and they tell me the story of how they first met. I’ve seen it on the faces of proud parents and on children when they see someone that they love come into the room. It is a beautiful thing to witness. This week I have started reading a new book during my quiet time in the mornings, ‘May I Have This Dance?’ by Joyce Rupp. In it, she describes what contemplation is. Contemplation is the prayer of quiet in which we are at home with God. We do not need words. We can be content simply to look upon God and to have God look upon us with love.

What an amazing thought! God looking upon us with love. That look of wonder, tenderness, pride, radiant pure love is directed at us, each one of us. The God who created us, and saw that the creation ‘was good’, looks at each one of us with love. I invite you to close your eyes for a moment and just imagine being bathed in that divine love, touching you like warm sunshine. Feel that warmth reaching all the way inside of you, lighting your inner most self. Imagine it caressing your spirit and filling your heart. It even penetrates those aspects of ourselves that we do not like, or hide from, or are ashamed of. As we let the love of God flow into us, we become channels for it to flow out to others.

Couples argue, children and parents fight, and yet that look of love remains and shows itself in moments throughout life. Our relationship with God is like that too. We may be angry with God, or do things that cause us to turn away from living in God’s fullness. We may sometimes feel that God has abandoned us, or stopped listening to our prayers. Yet, the love that God has for us remains. God continues to look at us with love, even when sometimes we can’t feel it, or don’t believe it. This week I invite you to be still in those idle moments of life – whilst you are waiting for the kettle to boil or for the computer to close down. In that moment, just close your eyes and say to yourself “God is looking at me with love.” Imagine the warmth of that love filling your body. You may want to try it if the day is tough or frustrating and you just need to take a break. Take a moment to be ‘at home with God’ and feel that divine love touching your tense muscles and frayed nerves. When we are prepared to let the love of God in, it will be easier for us to love ourselves and radiate the love of God out to others. 
God is looking at you with love.  Right now.

God bless,

Cecilia

I am writing this as a thunderstorm is starting to develop overhead. The sky has darkened, spots of rain are beginning to hit the window, and there are rumbles of thunder across the sky. Some people are frightened of storms, but I love them. There is something majestic about the power of nature in them. Perhaps I can also enjoy the drama of it all, because I have not had a frightening encounter with a storm yet. I know that there are folk in our congregation who have experienced flooding in their homes. Seeing torrential rain coming down does not bring back happy memories for them.

Terrifying events affect us in different ways. We are watching each night on TV as the survivors of the terrorist attack in Tunisia tell of their experiences. Some are clearly very traumatised. Others are just glad to be alive. One man showed the dent in his wife’s glasses case, where the bullet hit. It deflected the bullet towards her leg and away from her chest – the difference between life and death. I suspect that the glasses case will be shown to many people, as the story is retold.  We saw the outpouring of support for the church congregation at Mother Emmanuel Church in Charleston, and the forgiveness that the families offered to the alleged murderer in the courtroom. A violent act that was intended to drive people apart actually brought a community together. And more than just that community. At Northern Lights MCC and in many MCCs and other churches around the world, that the Charleston congregation is being remembered in prayer.

There is a saying ‘What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger’. I am not sure that is always true. Some events in life just shatter a person completely and they never quite recover. However, most times we are able to gain strength and perspective from our most difficult experiences. This month at NLMCC, our worship theme is ‘Hope and Light’. As Northern Lights MCC, we are committed to bringing hope and light to those who need it. We know from our faith journeys that God is always with us, even in the most difficult and darkest times. If we can’t feel God’s presence, we can look around our faith community at those we love and trust. They can show God’s love to us, when we cannot feel it for ourselves. At one of the difficult times of my life, when my mother died, an MCC friend told me ‘Lean on other people’s faith.’ That was such a good piece of advice. I leaned on other people’s faith until I felt strong enough to believe and pray again.

Life is cruel, challenging, painful and gruelling sometimes. When we offer hope and light, we are not ignoring this. We are saying ‘It will not always be like this. Even if your suffering continues, there is joy and blessing to be found in life.’ May you see God’s blessing in your own life this week.

God bless,

Cecilia